I had the pleasure of being in charge of the photo montage at my grandma’s 100th birthday as well as her wake services. I thought I’d take a moment to share a few of my favorites…
Bittersweet Monday
Posted: April 5, 2012 in UncategorizedMonday was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. I woke up remembering the same day, seven years ago, when Jack was born. I cannot believe he is seven years old already. He has become such an amazing boy and I’m truly luck to have him in my life. Unfortunately, he was not at home Monday. He went to North Carolina to visit his father for the week and didn’t return until the day after his birthday. I had to settle with a phone call to wish him a happy day and trust that he enjoyed spending time with his father and family.
Around noon, I received a call from my parents. My great grandmother, Ruth Deneen, died just shy of her 103rd birthday. She truly was an amazing lady and I am so honored to have had her as a grandparent. While I will miss her terribly, I do feel it was the right time. She lived a long, wonderful life and it was time for her to move on to a better place – where she can watch her beloved Bears games without the assistance of bulky headphones.
This weekend is Easter and so the services for my grandma are not until Monday night. This makes for an incredibly busy several days ahead. First, we celebrate Jack’s bday with a party on Saturday. Easter is Sunday. And finally, we lay Grandma Ruth to rest the begining of the new week.
Last summer, when I signed up at the gym, the trainer asked me to list three goals on the back cover of my training book. Printed in optimistic blue pen is “Run the Shamrock Shuffle 8k.” I am proud to say that I completed that goal on March 25, 2012. Having not run as much as I should have over the last several months, I ran much slower than my potential. I knew this was going to be the case, though, so I made a very simple goal. Finish within 75 minutes. Those 15 minute miles would give me time to walk intermittedly, stretch, drink the water without spilling it down my shirt. I was pretty pleased with myself when I crossed the finish line, smile on my face, at 64 minutes. Slow and steady, I achieved something that would have been impossible just over a year ago.
A special thanks to my biggest supporters – Mike and Jack – who came downtown to watch me race!
Running Restart – Prep for 8K!
Posted: March 11, 2012 in UncategorizedThanks to the peer pressure of my at-work husband, Jon, and a couple other coworkers, I signed up for the Shamrock Shuffle. Last year, I had put the 8K run on my list of fitness goals. When I stopped running in the fall, I shifted goals and let the race sneak up on me. Last weekend, not even considering the possibility of being able to complete the 8K, I went out for a run (as mentioned in my pervious blog entry). The run was far more successful that I anticipated. Slow, yes – but I hadn’t lost quite as much of my stamina. Two days later, I went out for another run. I completed 2.29 miles and while, again, I was slow, I felt accomplished. So when Jon, Tonya and Krista brought up the Shamrock Shuffle, I was hesitant but it didn’t take much pressure to get me to sign on. I find that I work best when I have clear goals and deadlines when it comes to my running. At the very least, it would encourage me to run for the next two weeks in an attempt to get through the race on the 25th. Yesterday, I left the house with a goal of repeating the success of last Sunday’s run. The wind was pretty hard on me and for a while, I thought I wouldn’t make it to two miles. But I kept going, breaking often to catch my breath and save my energy, and I completed 3.15 miles. The Shamrock Shuffle requires you to be able to run under 15 minute miles and I was happy to see I was averaging 13 or so, even with all the walking. All I have to do is take on another 1.85 miles to yesterday’s run and I will be able to complete the 8K! Wish me luck!
Runniversary
Posted: March 2, 2012 in UncategorizedMarch 3rd marks the anniversary of my very first run. It was on March 3, 2011 that I put on my gym shoes, walked out my front door, and began my quest for a better life. I truly believe that day changed the course of my life. By starting to run, I started to embark on a healthier lifestyle… which lead to weight loss, self-confidence and personal growth. The transition was not only physical but psychological.
After my first 5k in June, I began breaking into other types of fitness and didn’t focus as heavily on running. This spring, in honor of this life-changing anniversary, I am looking to switch gears and make running a larger focus again. Overall, I find the cool, dampness of early spring to be the easiest time to run. I’m hoping this will carry me into another successful round of weight loss and fitness gain.
This morning, I hit the pavement. This year, I recruited my son Jack to join me. He put on his rollerblades and glided along side of me. It really is a win-win situation. I get to run without worrying about who is watching him at home. He gets much needed practice skating. And as a huge bonus, we get to spend time together doing something healthy and fun.
Whoa, what a busy few months. After the big move, we quickly came upon the holidays. And like every year, I was quickly launched into the crazy busy season at work throughout January and the first few weeks of February. This year, I was able to experience the busy season from a new position in the company and I couldn’t be happier. I am truly happy with the changes that have come to my life over the last year.
This past weekend, I spent a long weekend in the Florida Keys and Miami. My parents had rented a house in Key Largo for the month and we were able to take advantage of their hospitality. It was a great weekend full of fishing in the ocean, kayaking, snorkeling, eating, relaxing, and enjoying the local nightlife…. oh and I even got a tattoo! I had an amazing time that I will remember always.
Biggest Loser Moment
Posted: December 7, 2011 in UncategorizedI have been taking a big game on this whole re-commitment to my fitness goals. And while I did a great job maintaining my loss, I really hadn’t taken it to the next level to lose more. The last two weeks, I turned a corner. I started incorporating more cardio in my workout and I increased the intensity of my workouts with my trainer. And I am already seeing the results. I went from feeling an increase in my waist size to feeling the first decrease in ages. I hadn’t gained poundage but I certainly felt like my clothes were not fitting as well and I looked rounder in the mirror. (Damn all those yummy holiday treats everywhere!) But after a few really solid workouts, that quickly went away and I feel back on track.
The most significant workout is what I have dubbed my “Biggest Loser Moment” My trainer decided we’d forgo the usual focus on either upper or lower body. Instead, she grabbed two 10 lb weights and told me to follow her upstairs to the treadmills. She had me walk at first to warm up but it wasn’t long before she had me running at my usual pace of 5.0. I only ran about 30 seconds before she had me go back down to a fast walk of 4.0. But then she pumped it up to 5.5 for another 30 seconds. No biggie. Faster that I go usually but only for a small period of time. It was shortly after that, that I realized the trend. We were scaling higher and higher. After we hit 6.5, she had me slow to a steady walk and handed me the weights. She then instructed me on doing some upper body strength training which was noticeably harder while walking but certainly doable. After completing that, she started the run routine again. I assumed we’d repeat the same scale as before – but I was wrong. We started higher, thus ending even higher. I was barely keeping my balance on the treadmill as I ran an uncharted 8.5 for the longest 30 seconds of my life. And those “walking” opportunities in between were a distant memory as the lowest she went for the “resting” in between was a 6.0. I wanted to die. I have never been so torn between the desire to puke, pass out or cry. In fighting all three off, I started to lose my breath and felt a panic attack on the rise. Thankfully, I was able to control it. But in doing so, I let the tears roll a little and had an emotional breakdown. She asked me if I wanted to stop but I suddenly felt the desire to finish what I had started. And so I did. Another round of weights and we were onto the next set of running. This was a decline routine – starting at 8.2 and going slower and slower until I was at a walk. It was hard and I was pouring with sweat but I got through it. I finished with the final set of weights and felt the amazing satisfaction of pushing myself to the limit come over me. It was a great feeling.
My next session was on Monday. My trainer and I talked about the success of Friday and decided to try the running again. This time we eliminated the weights (I’ll be moving this week and I didn’t want upper body soreness to ruin it) but I was still a little nervous. The routine was still extremely hard and I felt myself really pushing past my limits to make it happen but I didn’t have the emotional break. I knew I could do it and I got through it with more confidence than before. I asked my trainer to write down the routine and plan to incorporate a similar routine into my weekly cardio.
When I looked at the scale yesterday, I was so satisfied to see a 2 lb loss for the first time since July/August. I am now officially 38 lbs lighter than I was at the start of the year — and I’m on my way to more!
I have not submitted a blog entry in a while and it is for good reason. I have been incredibly busy. Life is really moving lately and barely have time for writing reply emails, let alone blog updates. Where to start?….
First, I got a promotion at work. After being an Executive Assistant / Office Manager for six and a half years, I was asked to run a new department. The opportunity is very exciting. I am now running a team of five (soon to be nine) administrators responsible for all the written communication funneling through the company. This includes a large bulk of customer inquiries, federal and state agency correspondence, etc. My team handles a lot of information and makes sure to either close the case or pass it along to the specialist that can help. So far, I have learned a lot. I have had a lot of leadership/management training and have really hit the ground running with my staff. It is certainly a challenge learning how to delegate, organize, and train a new team. But overall, I really like it.
Second, Mike and I decided to take our relationship to the next level. In three short weeks, Jack and I will move into Mike’s house in Aurora. All three of us (and our families) share an abundance of excitement over this transition. The more time we spend together, the more anxious we are to spend everyday together. I feel so lucky to have finally found the guy that makes me smile every single day.
Unfortunately, my weight loss has been at a stand still. And while I would have loved to have lost more, I am happy to not have gained anything. I have not lost pounds but I do know that I have lost inches and my body shape has changed. I’m extremely content with that. With all that has happened and the lack of workout time I have devoted, it is a blessing that I have not gained. I will continue to see my trainer and *try* to fit in more cardio, so hopefully I will begin to see a loss again soon.
The rest our limited free time has been devoted to spending time together. We have an endless stream of obligations (mostly fun) that keep our weekends busy and with Year End approaching, work is only going to get crazier. But for now, life is a good kind of crazy – one that has me smiling every single day.
The official Warrior Dash photos have been posted. I purchased the ones of Mike and I jumping fire for a little home decor project I’m working on but couldn’t resist the urge to post them here on the blog as well. Maybe it will act as good running inspiration!
Just one week after completing the Warrior Dash, Mike and I headed to Brookfield Zoo to participate in the Zoo Run Run 5k. The event itself was complete chaos. The people running the event were completely disorganized, unprepared, and uninterested in doing anything to fix the problem. I won’t go into the details but let’s just say this — we arrived a full hour before the event and at the time the race was supposed to start, we were still in line to pick up packets. When it came time to race, everyone — the timed racers, fun-runners, and walkers — started at the same time instead of staggering as outlined in the race day agenda. This mounted to event more frustration while racing but I can’t say that it really impacted me too much.
The first mile was okay. Despite the crowds, I did develop a groove. Mike started a few people in front of me and I thought he’d be long gone but through most of the first mile, he remained only a few people ahead. However, as I rounded that first mile, two things started to hold me back — A) I had to pee so bad it physically hurt. I usually take the time to have a pre-race tinkle but with the chaos, there was no time for that. I could feel both bottles of water putting pressure on my poor bladder. B) It was cool out and I had a tshirt thin hoodie on. I figured it might be nice to run in that instead of bare armed given the temp. Boy was I wrong. I hadn’t even managed the first full mile before I was starting to overheat. And being the super genius I am, I had pinned my bib in a way that made it too hard to get the jacket off. It was just after the first mile that I had to take a moment to breath. Not because I needed to regain control of my breath but because I felt I was suffocating in my clothes. Ultimately, I had to make a pattern of running, cooling down, and running again. This added time to my run that I was hoping to avoid.
After all was done, I shaved exactly one minute (to the second!) off my race time from June. I suppose I should be happy to have gone faster but I know I can do significantly better. I look forward to running more in preparation for my next race — whenever that might take place. We have a couple in mind but I am hoping to nail down some registrations this week or next.
Today was an amazing day. I ran my first Warrior Dash. As the event bills itself, the Warrior Dash is a mud-crawling, fire-leaping, extreme run from hell. During this three mile run, I encountered a dozen extreme obstacles that tested every bit of my full body strength and endurance. I was hugely afraid I wouldn’t be up to the challenge before the race began and upon coming up to some of these obstacles, I feared that it would be the one to take me down. But I always surprised myself not only with the fact that I could do it, but that I was really good at it. And not for lack of being difficult obstacles, but rather because I’m in the best shape of my life right now.
I signed up for the race months and months ago with some coworkers. During my first date with Mike, we laughed at the happy coincidence that he and his friend were also registered and that their wave was only 90 minutes prior to mine. So not only did I get to share this experience with some amazing coworkers that know how to combine an afternoon of fitness with a ton of laughs but I got to share it with Mike as well.
I haven’t been running much in the last few months. Mid-summer, I had definitely put the focus into alternative cardio and weight training. Just as I started to come back around to running, I rolled my ankle and had to take a step back for a while to heal. I didn’t feel prepared for today until the ball of flame signaled our heat was to begin. The first stretch of running went relatively well and before I knew it, I was 2/3 the way through the course, having conquered obstacles I would have never come close to being able try six months ago. The ease and fun I found during each challenge was a huge reminder that I have come along way and that I am increasing my fitness level with every week that goes by.
The weather was not ideal today as it was rainy and pretty cold. But I almost feel it added to the experience. Here are a few photos that really speak to the day’s events.
Before vs After -- Warrior Dash
SurePayroll - Before and After the Warrior Dash
And let's not forget our reward of beer and turkey legs.
Midway through the summer, I signed up for two races in September — The Warrior Dash (Upper Midwest) and the Zoo Run Run at Brookfield Zoo. As I waited for my x-ray results in the ER a few weeks ago, both runs crossed my mind and my heart sunk realizing I may not be able to participate as planned. I knew that with a sprain, I’d likely be technically okay to run by then but I also knew I’d be missing out on the critical training that I’d need to complete the weeks prior. Couple that with the fact that I’d have several weeks of limited physical ability, I knew I had to brace myself for disappointment.
The week or so following the sprain seemed to further fan the flames of my theory. The swelling continued to be a problem and I had a hard time keeping off of my ankle while at work. Things were just too busy and I couldn’t manage without being mobile. After a week, I returned to my personal trainers and let them give me hellish upperbody and core workouts. I then took to the bike to fulfill at least a little cardio. Mere weeks ago, I was at the gym 3-4 times a week. With a two week absence followed by a limited capability, I knew that I was not getting what I need out of my workouts. The good news is that I didn’t gain any weight since my injury. Honestly, that was all I could ask for given the circumstances.
This week, my ankle started out feeling strong but the bottom of my foot had this annoying pain. Remembering that I had a similar pain months ago, I went to look at my medicine stash. My doctor had prescribed something to relieve inflammation in my foot back in January. Only two doses did the trick so I had plenty to spare. I figured trying it again was worth a shot. It was also suggested to me to try shoe inserts targeted to help support my arches and soften the impact on my heel. I’m not sure which did the trick but my foot and ankle have been feeling great ever since. So good, I decided it was time to hit the pavement again.
Last night was the night. I hadn’t run in my neighborhood since May. In fact, the race in June and the ‘fun run’ a few weeks ago were the only two times I had run outdoors all summer. I was a bit nervous so when Mike volunteered to join me, I instantly took him up on the offer. I gave him all the warnings and disclaimers. My intention was not to push it to the limit. I wanted to run at a comfortable and likely slow pace, to work on the basics of running again — stance, breathing, etc. Being the awesome boyfriend he is, he let me lead the way – both the route and the pace. The first mile took some getting used to. I had to ward off a few familiar aches and pains, readjust my stance and pace a couple times. Long before the one mile mark, I was feeling pretty solid. When my RunKeeper App announced the one mile mark, I knew I could have gone on further. But I also stayed true to my commitment to take it easy the first time out. I brought us to a walk and took the time to relax and regroup.
In looking at my stats, I find it interesting that my pace was faster than it has ever been. Yet I felt completely comfortable in our speed. While I was expecting these last few weeks to result in a step back, it just might have been a tiny step forward. Yay! Unfortunately, I did walk a bit longer than I would have. I admittedly got caught up chatting with Mike and before I knew it we’d walked further that I’d like to have. But we kicked it into high gear and ran a total of a mile and a half the next round. By the time we reached my house, we’d completed over three miles, two and a half of which we ran.
All in all, that’s a pretty solid performance on my part – injury or not. Until I have completed the Warrior Dash and Zoo Run Run, I will still be nervous. For now, all I can do is keep moving forward. Wish me luck!
The week proceeding my injury and the week following shared one common element — lack of time at the gym. Despite the kayaking, hiking and running we did in central Illinois, there was not much working out happening for two solid weeks. Balancing a large project at work with a new relationship, an injury, and preparation for the new school year left me with zero time or energy to workout. Last Friday marked two weeks since I’d graced the gym with my presence and knowing I couldn’t let it go on any further, I went in for an appointment with my trainer.
I hadn’t seen my trainer since the injury to my ankle so she was a little shocked when I walked in. However, being the awesome professional that she is, she quickly adapted a workout around it, focusing on upper body. This workout was also a bit different since it was also the first time I brought someone to the gym as my guest. My trainer has been dying to include Mike on one of my sessions so he tagged along for the session. The moment we got there, my Kurtz competitive personality kicked into full gear. I was bound and determined to do the same, if not better, than Mike. He had an easier time with pushups but boy did I kick his butt in core!!
Riding a high from my rockin core performance, I didn’t see it coming. The pain that met me the next morning was intense. My core was perfectly fine but my arms, shoulders, back and even parts of my legs were killing me. The worst part was that I had about a million errands to run around town. I had no choice but to suffer through the discomfort and get them done. I was out of time and things needed to get done. I was a miserable mess by the time I got home.
Thankfully, later that night I was able to relax and felt I got a decent nights sleep. The next day, we had an action packed day. Starting with a somewhat early breakfast with Mike’s family, we headed down to Sox park immediately following. We had a great time but boy did I feel it in my ankle and legs. We did an extreme amount of walking around the park and by the end of the day, I was very thankful to sit down for the evening. Overall, I had a great time this weekend but I cannot deny that the lack of working out combined with the injury has taken its toll on me.
Tonight, I head back to the gym for another trainer appointment. I am hoping for three things — A) that I survive. B) that I am able to squeeze some extra energy out for a post-trainer cardio session and finally, C) that I don’t feel like a zombie tomorrow.
If this weekend’s experience didn’t confirm that long absences from the gym are a bad idea, I don’t know what will! Wish me luck!
This week marked two milestones for me. First, I stepped on the scale to find I had finally reached the halfway point of my weight loss goals — 35 lbs. The second was not so fun. I joined my boyfriend for a three mile run at the Kickapoo State Park. Before the race began, I was in deep negiations with Mike. He wanted to run with me but I knew I hadn’t been running as much as other cardio in the last month and that he would be able to run much faster. I didn’t want to hold him back from enjoying his run so I basically insisted that he run ahead and meet me at the finish. Mike had great instincts and ended up sticking with me. I never ran on a trail before so the experience was great. I really enjoyed the first mile. The second mile was definitely a new experience for me being that it was more a hybrid of running and hiking. The hills were steep and I had to find my balance. Just when things seemed to flatten out for a bit, I tripped over a tree root and rolled my ankle. I came tumbling to the ground in a fit of extreme pain. We were in the middle of the woods and at least a half mile from the conclusion of the trail. Thankfully, after patiently calming me down, Mike discovered a cut through that led straight to the start/finish. The only problem was that it was uphill. Ultimately, I suffered through a miserable climb up the hill with Mike’s support. He then took me to the hospital to have xrays. It turns out I have a sprained ankle which will require SEVERAL weeks of recovery. When informed of this, I felt the tears overwhelm me. I have worked so hard and to lose momentum would be a devastating blow to my fitness goals. After a night of sleep and much encouragement from my wonderful boyfriend, I am hoping that my trainers can work around this obstacle and keep me building muscle on other muscle groups. Right now, I just have to take it one day at a time.
I have to admit, those last few pounds were brutal to lose. It didn’t help that I had a couple bad weekends where I didn’t eat quiet as clean as I should have. However, I did ultimately push past the 30 lb mark and look forward to pushing through another milestone in the near future. *fingers crossed*
For most of June, I was really good about my eating habits. While the weekdays were always easier than the weekends, I still managed to keep the damage to a minimum. Despite kicking up the intensity of my workouts with a trainer, I didn’t lose as much weight as I had hoped. On one hand, I had a lot going personally and the switch from running to weight training was challenging. On the other, I was working pretty hard and eating well so I should have seen a larger dip on the scale. I tried not to let it bother me and accepted the plateau for a while, knowing I was giving it a valiant effort.
Then the holiday weekend hit. And I was a very bad girl. My only saving grace was that I did at least an hour of cardio every single day throughout that long weekend. But I am embarrassed to admit the garbage I allowed myself to consume over the course of the weekend. After each day, I felt insanely guilty. Yet, I made some of the same mistakes again the following day and felt the same immeasurable guilt all over.
My total weight gain after that weekend was about five horrifying pounds. I was so disappointed in myself which helped me push forward and quickly take the weight back off. But I know the next few pounds will be hard to break through. I need to hold myself extremely accountable and do the work. I am always glad I did afterward.
The final two pounds to hit the 30 lb mark has been an obvious struggle. I am hopeful I will meet the goal sometime in the next week. Wish me luck!
On Friday, my trainer asked if I’d like to try boxing during our session. I agreed, figuring it would be a good upper-body and cardio workout. Well, I’m here to tell you that it was INTENSE! It was both the hardest, yet fastest, thirty minutes of my life. I couldn’t believe how much effort goes into it. And you know my bad-ass trainer wasn’t about to take it easy on me. “Punch harder!” “Keep up the pace!” “Focus on your target!” The funniest moment came when I could hear a couple guys on the machine next to me, quietly hum the music to Eye of the Tiger.
After we finished, the trainer asked how I liked boxing. I told her that I liked it – it was challenging but a nice departure from weight machines and regular core. She said that we will certainly do it again and as I get better, she will add weights. Weights?!? Seriously? If I can box with weights, I suppose I don’t ever need to fear walking through a dark parking lot alone again, huh? LOL
Late last week, I stepped on the scale. I was disappointed to see my weight elevate by a couple pounds despite all the working out I have been doing. In fact, it was a bit depressing but I didn’t let it impact my routine. I kept going. I did two sessions with the trainers (Thurs and Fri) as scheduled. On Saturday, I wanted to get on the treadmill to do a run. I have done other forms of cardio since my 5k race so I knew it would be hard but I hadn’t anticipated just how hard it ended up being. I couldn’t even get to a mile before having to switch to the bike instead. I felt miserable and truly defeated. I also realized that I felt exhausted. Therefore, I decided to skip my workouts on Sunday and Monday. I felt extremely guilty both days but I do know it was the right thing to do.
This week, I have tried to keep a closer eye on what I am eating – though much of it is the same as I have been doing. I figure after I log a full week, I can look at the nutrients I’ve received and make adjustments I may need to optimize weight loss. I do not anticipate that logging everything will have an impact until I can get enough data to make changes.
Last night was another workout with my trainer. We did 30 minutes straight of the most intense core workout I could ever imagine. I seriously thought I might puke and/or pass out by the end. But the moment we ended, it became all worth it since I felt amazing. This morning, I stepped on the scale and registered a two pound loss, which puts me at a total of 26 lbs lost to date. This is technically a four pound loss since last week since I spiked a little over the last two weeks. This seems really familiar and I think I’m recognizing a pattern. I spike two pounds and then go on to lose that plus a couple pounds a week later. I am guessing this is the build up of muscle and then drop of weight. What I will be really curious to see is how many inches I’ve lost since I started at the gym. I think that measurement is coming up this week. I will give a full report!
A picture can say a thousand words and the above photo is no exception. My body certainly could not pull off a Marilyn Monroe look four months ago but look at it now! When I pulled up the photos from the photo booth for the first time, I couldn’t believe my eyes. So often, I see photos of myself and cringe. This time was completely different. I started to really see my weight loss reflected in a big way. It was further motivation to keep this train rolling.
Here are a few more shots from the party that make me smile:
These photos and more can be viewed on my Flickr page at http://www.flickr.com/photos/pattikurtz/sets/72157626843664209/
Thank you to everyone that came out to the party. It truly was a great event — I was so thankful to spend the evening with my family and friends. All in all, I estimate a total guest count of over fifty guests. Not everyone participated in the photo booth but those that did, please feel free to grab/print whatever photos you like.
I did it! I completed my first 5k!
Saturday morning, I woke up early and headed out to Wheaton, IL for the run. On the way there, the rain clouds were looking ominous but thankfully, by the time we got to the race, the rain had long passed and we were dry the rest of the day.
According to the announcer, there were nearly 1000 registered runners. I am fully aware that there were far the bulk of runners were far more seasoned than myself, we chose to start at the very back of the crowd. Shortly after starting, we quickly passed a pretty big bulk of people before finding a pretty steady position on the route.
It wasn’t long into the first mile that I realized just how hilly downtown Wheaton is. Tinley is extremely flat and I haven’t experience running on an elevation climb, even if it wasn’t terribly steep. It sounds clique but it really felt up hill most of the way. In looking back on it, I realized that while it took a solid two blocks to run up the hill, the downhill portions of the run were generally steep and only took a block to go down. This made it feel like more blocks uphill than down.
I was thankful to reach the first mile and grab some water. I can’t really run and drink so I did slow to a fast walk for a few seconds to gulp the water down. By the second mile marker, I was starting to really struggle. Again, at the water station, I slowed to grab a water and actually walked a block to catch my breath.
The third mile did go better. Since my friend Pontip was staying with us for the weekend, she and Jack joined Ed as our supporters for the big race. About a half mile to the finish, they had camped out along the route to take photos and cheer us on. As we passed, Jack began to run along side of us. He kept up the pace for several blocks but when he knew he would soon be out of site of Ed and Pontip, he slowed down to let them catch up. It was nice to share a small piece of the run with my son. Given his father’s long running career, I am hoping this is something Jack and I can share together in the future.
The final stretch was rough. It was a pretty steep hill and I was running out of energy. I plugged through and even picked up the pace during the final push. I was looking forward to a giant gulp of cold water at the finish line. Unfortunately, upon crossing the finish line, they were out of water (for the moment) on the table and I felt like I was going to be sick. I made my way over to the grace and laid face down on the ground. I was overcome with several things — A) unable to catch my breath, B) queasiness from needing but not receiving water at the finish, and most importantly, C) the emotional finish of my first 5k race.
I am so thankful that I was able to experience this run with my best friend and was even more grateful when she went in search of water/Gatorade to refresh us after the run. We spent the next hour with all the other race participants at the ceremony afterward. We had race time chips so we were also able to print off our final race times. I clocked in at 39:28, an average pace of 12:44 per mile. Given I run at 13 minute miles on the treadmill at the gym, I see this as a huge win. Despite the hills and slowing to drink water, I still pushed enough to improve my mile time. Yay!
Having my first successful 5k under my belt, I have learned a lot. I have some changes to make in my workouts/runs to better accommodate some of the challenges I faced during the run. I am optimistic that these will make for a much better run next time! I suppose that’s my cue to go sign up for another one, right?!
I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years
Hey my next thirty years I’m gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I’ve done
Maybe now I’ve conquered all my adolescent fears
And I’ll do it better in my next thirty years
My next thirty years I’m gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I’m doing here
In my next thirty years
Oh my next thirty years, I’m gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late
Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers
Maybe I’ll remember my next thirty years
My next thirty years will be the best years of my life
Raise a little family and hang out with my wife meet the love of my life
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear
Make up for lost time here, in my next thirty years
In my next thirty years
Lyrics from Tim McGraw’s 2000 song, “My Next Thirty Years”
Forty-eight hours from now, I lace up my Mizunos and begin my first 5k run. As I tick down the remaining hours until the big race, I can’t help but notice the amazing highs and lows this week has brought me.
Last Wednesday, I stepped onto the treadmill knowing that I had to run three solid miles in order to keep up with my training goals for the week. As I passed glided through mile two, I had a feeling that I wouldn’t be stopping at three miles. Sure enough, I pushed through and at 52 minutes and 45 seconds, I hit four amazing miles. I felt amazing. Back in March, it was a struggle to get through more than 60 seconds of running. And now, I can clock a solid 52 minute, 4 mile run. Wow. What a difference a few months can make.
Thursday, I enjoyed the day with my son as he graduated from Kindergarten. While uploading the photos later, I realized just how different my body is starting to look. I hadn’t really seen a dip on the scale in a while but it was obvious things were changing.
On Friday morning, I woke up COMPLETELY SICK! My head was congested and I felt like someone had beat me up. It amazed me how I went from feeling amazing the days prior to feeling like I’d been run over by a truck in a matter of hours. I tried to take it easy on Friday in the hopes it would leave as quickly as it came upon me.
Saturday morning, I woke up feeling sick still. However, I had a trainer appointment and thought I could sweat out the poison. When I arrived at the gym, I was informed my regular trainer was transferred to a different gym. Instead, I was set up with this 22 year old recent college grad who took it upon himself to kick my ass. Don’t get me wrong, I’d have really enjoyed that on a normal day. But feeling as sick as I was, it ended up being brutal. He is new to the gym and didn’t have another training appointment so he kept going past my half hour session into a full hour. Normally, that would be awesome but that morning, it left my shaky and ready to go home by the end. I couldn’t bring myself to even consider cardio after that. I grabbed my first ever protein shake at the health bar and headed home.
Saturday afternoon, despite feeling congested, I did feel okay enough to continue with my plans. Erin and I went to the craft store to buy supplies for our silly 5k shirts. Mine reads “It’s my birthday, and I’ll run 5k if I want to” Erin’s says “It’s her birthday, and I’ll run 5k if I want, too” Yes, we love a good play on words. The shirts turned out great and I’m looking forward to wearing it.
The rest of the weekend was really lost to my cold. I felt awful and it really prevented me from accomplishing much. Monday morning was probably the worst of it. Having slept little the night before and generally being exhausted from the cold, it was a real struggle most of the day. I attempted to go in to see my regular doctor but he was on vacation so I ended up at a CVS Minute Clinic. They said my cold was viral and that they could only treat the symptoms. I walked out of CVS with Mucinex and a prescription cough suppressant. I was not entirely optimistic.
Thankfully, the cold shifted a bit halfway through Tuesday to the side of bearable. I took one last night of rest before heading to the gym last night, Wednesday. I weighed myself in the morning and was surprised to see I had lost another couple of pounds for a total of 24 lbs. (Yay!) I went to work in a good mood and later forced myself through a grueling three mile run on the treadmill. I am hoping that after a mini-run tonight, a workout session with a trainer on Friday, I will be ready for the big race on Saturday. I’m trying to stay positive but I must admit that as the day approaches, I am getting increasingly nervous.
Last night was my third session with the personal trainer and we have now officially covered the main muscle groups. My trainer has worked me out on several machines, which has helped me get a better knowledge of the gym equipment. He has also utilized a few weights in the “scary weight room” so I am starting to feel a bit more comfortable with working out amongst the big buff dudes.
As I settle into life at the gym, I have unleashed a bit of my humor on my trainer. Last night was a learning experience for us both. For me, I learned that the more sarcastic and/or sassy I am, the more weight he will add to my machine. I certainly walk away feeling my muscles received an intense workout so I suppose this is a win-win for me… for now. In return, my trainer learned that the more you push me, the more I will deliver. A true Kurtz, I do not back down from a challenge. Toward the end of last night’s session, he casually said “okay, so you may not get through this whole set but I will assist in when it becomes too hard.” You better believe I finished that set on my own. How dare you suggest I cannot finish a set!
My muscles typically do not feel sore the first day after a workout. However, just as start to consider maybe he didn’t work me out hard enough, I wake up the second morning after feeling it big-time. Some areas carry the soreness more than others. I have taken mental notes of these areas in hopes that this knowledge will help me figure out where to focus in the future.
One concern I had this week was my weight. Despite eating pretty healthy, even on the holiday weekend, I haven’t lost any weight this week. In fact, I gained at least one pound, if not two. Now, I have always said that I don’t care about that number. I care about how I look and how healthy I feel. But weight is one of the only measurements I can easily access right now. I, of course, asked my trainer and he assured me that I’m gaining muscle right now but that very soon, the weight will fall off. And all the while, my body will begin to shrink very shortly. I am sure hoping he is right!
I suppose this goodbye is a long time coming. I essentially stopped needing the program several weeks ago but until I had a few runs without assistance/guidance under my belt, I thought it best to hold off on giving the app the boot. I simply cannot recommend a better program. It seriously changed my life. Not only did I lose over 20 lbs but I went from barely making it down the block to running forty-plus minutes straight. After a million failed attempts at running for fitness, I must admit I was skeptical when I first started. And I will tell you it wasn’t always easy. There were many runs that I had to repeat and I hit serious plateaus at times. However, I kept at it, pushed through, and now I am ready to run my 5K in June. While I no longer need the program, I do plan to give my Couch25K app on my iPhone a proper send off by turning it on one last time as I run my first 5K. And after I cross the finish line, I will submit my official review in the app store.
As I mentioned last week, I joined a gym. And with that new gym membership came a free fitness assessment with a trainer. Saturday morning, I took them up on their offer and met with the trainer. After doing the assessment, he took me through a sample workout. About halfway through the workout, my trainer – Billy – says, “the harder this gets the more you smile – most people look like they are going to cry” Without missing a beat, I replied, “I’m paying you to make it hurt. I smile when I get my money’s worth.” This, of course, made him laugh. I think we’ll get along just fine.
After establishing that I was comfortable with the whole trainer concept, I took the plunge and signed up for two sessions a week for the foreseeable future. I have never felt more committed to my health and fitness as I have the last couple months. I’m striking while the iron is hot and I’m going to reach each and ever fitness/weight goal I put in front of me. If that means hiring someone to kick my ass at the gym, so be it. And you better believe I will do it with a smile on my face, every step of the way.
The reality is, I have a lot of weight to lose. I have a long road ahead of me and sometimes, that knowledge can be daunting. Therefore, I decided to make mini-goals that will ultimately led to my master goal. The first weight loss goal (note: this is separate of my running goals) was to lose twenty pounds. And I am happy to report that as of Thursday morning, that goal has been met. Yay!
My next goal is an additional twenty pounds. This will put me at my lowest weight since before my son was born. And maybe even well before that, to be honest. Wish me luck!
I did it. I finally signed up for a gym membership. I chose LA Fitness since it is pretty close to my house and has hours that appeal to my schedule. Sure, it’s not the cheapest gym around but I want to give myself every fighting chance to be successful at the next phase of my fitness transformation.
Since I left for Mexico two weeks ago, I haven’t been running outside. And honestly, I haven’t really been running indoors. In Mexico, the vacation didn’t lend well to running and I really needed the time to relax. Sure, we took in a salsa dancing lesson and I did my fair share of swimming in the pool and snorkeling, but I didn’t get an official workout in during my stay. Despite not working out, eating amazing food and drinking entirely too much, I did come home having maintained my weight loss. Yay! However, I came home from that trip to some family drama before departing for Austin a mere three days later. I had hoped to get in a couple runs but it just wasn’t in the cards.
The morning after I arrived in Austin, Jeff used one of his guest passes to get me into his gym. I was nervous for several reasons — first, I knew I hadn’t ran in over a week and I was sure that this would mean a backslide in progress. Second, since I started running, I have only done so outside or on my elliptical. I haven’t run on a treadmill in many years and even when I did, I sucked at it. I hoped onto the machine and started running. To my pleasant surprise, I ran 2 miles straight without a problem. I could have gone a little longer had I brought a waterbottle but I ended up getting off the machine in quest of water. We also had a pretty tight timeline since we had plans for the day.
Promptly after signing up at the gym on Monday night, I hopped on the treadmill. After several days in Austin, drinking and eating, I was again nervous how I would do. Similar to my run in Austin, I did well and logged a solid 2 miles. I then hoped on one of the stationary bikes and clocked another 2 miles. Tuesday, I returned to the gym after an incredibly stressful day. Boy did that keep me motivated!! I completed over 3 miles — or 5k for those on the metric system — and matched the distance on the bike. Last night (Wednesday), I struggled a little. I had made some bad lunch choices and could completely feel it. Right from the beginning, I felt weighed down. I pushed through as far as I could. At the 2 mile mark, I knew I had to make a change so I reduced my speed but increased the incline. I kept my heart rate up until I reached mile 3. Dripping with sweat (damn greasy burger!) I made my way over to the bike. The bike was much better and I was able to clock 5 miles. As reward for pushing through, I sat in the sauna for some additional “me time” before heading home.
Today, I have plans that will likely prevent me from going to the gym. And to be honest, I need a rest day so I don’t get burnt out on going. Saturday morning, I have an appointment with a personal trainer. I am hoping to identify some weight training options to add to the cardio. As much fun as it is to watch the hot guys circuit training, it’s time I start doing some of my own. However, high school gym class was like 12 years ago so I need a refresher on how to properly use the machines. I also want some guidance on where to start, what areas to work on, etc. This session is complimentary but I’ll certainly be considering a regular session set up as things progress.
One thing that shocks me is how much I look forward to going to the gym. Perhaps in a few weeks, the glitter will settle and I’ll see it as a chore. But then again, I said the same thing about running and look at me now. This is really the first valid, committed attempt in my adult life to get into shape and at 11 weeks, I think I’m doing pretty good. And having hoped right back on the horse after two back-to-back vacations, I think it’s safe to say that this has truly become a life change.
After six long years of waiting, my trip to Mexico is the day after tomorrow! Holy cow, I can’t believe it! I am SOOO ready!
This weekend, I spent a pretty good chunk of time preparing for take-off. I dug out the luggage, started rolling on laundry, and assessed my wardrobe. Thankfully, I had purchased a few maxi dresses a couple months ago when spring/summer first hit the racks. But after losing 16 lbs, I knew that some things would look different. I am glad I kept the tags on as I was able to exchange things for more flattering apparel.
On Sunday, Erin and I decided it was time for our pre-vacation mani-pedi. We each got “no-chip” manicures in hopes that our gorgeous nails would last through two excruciating days of work, a plane ride, and a million tequilas that will undoubtedly have us tipping over periodically throughout vacation. Hey, I need these babies to last through Vacation #2 to Austin the following weekend!!
The next 36 hours are packed. Tonight I have to finish packing (or as close to it as possible), get in a last run, and spend time with Jack. Tomorrow, I will be going to bed super early. Our flight is at 8am on Wednesday. Being an international flight, we have to be there at six. I also need to stop by and get Erin first so right there, I would have to leave my house at like 4:30am. And because I am not fortunate enough to be one of those people that can shower the night before and not look like a train wreck the next morning, it looks like my butt will be getting up at 3:30am. Sigh. But it’s alllllll worth it!
For weeks, I just couldn’t get my body to take the leap from three internals of ten minutes to a full 25-minute straight run. At the ten minute mark, I would be struggling, ready to take my 2-3 minute break walk. After a while, I resigned to the fact that as I approached a mile, my body needed to slow down and recoup. I decided I should be comfortable in knowing that I could, at least, do several of these ten minute intervals in one workout.
I was changing up my routine by doing a bit of cross-training on the elliptical and at-home exercises like squats. This all helped the leg cramps I had been getting but I still felt extremely tired at that ten minute mark. I wasn’t feeling well for a couple of days so I took three days off running (a first since I began this program.) I took it easy on the first run following that break but felt pretty good. The next day was Easter and I was already strapped for time so I did a quick mile. I figured this was a great way to vary my routine and “trick my muscles” as everyone keeps telling me to do.
My next run was, well, AMAZING. I decided to swap the five-minute warm up for a mere two-minute warm up walk. I took off and felt great. I knew after only a couple blocks that something was different. It was like all the running stars aligned and I was destined for the best run of my life (so far). I managed to break past my ten minute mark and new I’d make it to fifteen. But I didn’t stop there. I ran for TWENTY-FIVE minutes before stopping. And here’s the killer part — I walked for a few minutes and then ran FIFTEEN MORE minutes! The only reason I stopped was that I ran out of runway. I had completed my planned route and going any further meant heading away from my house. I also decided it best not to push my luck. 😉
Since then, I’ve had a couple runs but I didn’t feel as glorious as I did that day. However, I still was able to run much longer than I had up until my breakthrough. I’ve basically run the full 25 minutes, but with a few moments of walking for 10 seconds to stretch out my legs or catch my breath. It’s not perfect but I know that there are ups and downs. I also took the opportunity to vary my routine by only doing two miles a piece for the last two runs. In thinking about the runs leading up to my glorious run last week, I realized that I threw in a short mile long run. I’m hoping that by dipping down to two miles a couple times will give me a little variation so that on my next three plus mile run, I can fall into the same blissful stride.
As always – wish me luck!
There are two weeks until I leave for my Mexico trip. Last week, I realized the date was quickly approaching and I vowed to make a solid push to train as much as possible prior to the trip. The weather and my increasingly busy schedule, are not cooperating.
The last week or two have been not only cold but rainy as well. The few moments that it has been dry enough to run, there has been so much moisture in the air that the 30 degree temps are simply unbearable. In early March when I started the program, I faced these temps with no problem — but it was a dry cold. On Monday night, I set out on my run and made it about a half mile up the road before turning around and heading home. The cold made it hard to breath and I knew I wasn’t going to get value from the workout. It was the first run that I started without completing since I began the program. I felt disappointed in myself for a moment but remembered that my safety and health come first.
Scheduling has also been a challenge. I had an extended weekend but found it difficult to fit the runs between events and raindrops. I never skipped more than a day and tried to eat healthy so I hope there are no steps backward to be counted. I am not intending to make excuses here. I have to find a way to make it work. And by using my elliptical at home, I have made the best of things. However, this represents a pretty pivotal point in my training — juggling life and weather around my runs.
The next four weeks will be hard. I have four parties (three bday, one farewell) this week on various nights, plus Easter on Sunday, then Mexico on May 4th. I return from Mexico for three short days before hoping on another plane to Texas. It is going to be tough but I do feel that if when I come out of this having kept my promises, I will have reason to be proud.
Throughout this entire Couch-to-5k process, I have remained calm as obstacles came along. I knew that in past attempts at physical fitness, I would try too much, too fast, which lead to my resignation. This time has been dramatically different. Perhaps it is the program, perhaps I was just more emotionally ready now than ever. I actually think it is a combination of both. But however you look at it, the result has been a positive change in my life.
The last couple weeks have proved to be more of a rollercoaster than the steady progress I enjoyed the first month of the program. One area I have always struggled in during any kind of cardio workout has been control over my breathing. I’m happy to report that after only a few weeks of the program, I am pretty good at keeping my breathing under control. Whenever I feel like I am starting to lose my breath, I take a very deep, controlled breath. The moment I hit that slow peak, my body relaxes and I know that I have much more push left in me. I feel rejuvenated by that single, simple ritual.
Unfortunately, my legs are not in agreement. My current struggle is my legs. After about ten minutes of running, I’m fighting against the discomfort of my calf muscles. I have tried going faster, slower, shorter steps, longer steps, etc. but nothing seems to work. The only thing that helps is slowing to a walk and allowing my legs to rest and shake off the pain. After a few minutes of walking, I am ready to run again. Sure, the tension comes back but I’m able to fight it — until I hit that 10 minute mark and I simply cannot go on.
According to the Couch-to-5k, my next run should be a solid 25 minutes. I have put off this run for a week now because I know I cannot come close to making it happen. Instead, I have repeated Week 6, Run 2 several times. In Run 6.2, I am supposed to run ten minutes, walk three minutes, run ten minutes. While I cannot progress from 10-minute straight to 25 without stopping, I do feel ready to take on more than two 10 minute intervals. Therefore, I have added another interval of 10 minutes, for a total run-time of 30 minutes.
I feel as though I am progressing, just not in the way that the program suggests. I am proud of my progress but I feel that if I address the leg tension, I can get back on track to run continuously. I need to identify the right remedies to increase the strength and endurance in my calf muscles. Instead of taking a shot in the dark and potentially losing more time, I took my problem public and asked my friends on Facebook for advice. I received a few good tips which all sort of lead back to the same thing — cross-training. I need to work on strengthening my leg muscles even on the days I’m not running.
And so begins a new phase of my training. Tonight, I will start working on toning my legs in addition to my runs. I’m sure it will take me a few weeks to figure out what works for me. In the meantime, I do appreciate the fact that I live in an era where the internet is at my fingertips. I have a plethora of articles and videos within my reach and I plan on taking full advantage of the knowledge experts put out for general consumption.
And for good measure – I will use this as an excuse to get a deep tissue massage sometime this week. 🙂
After two terrible runs last weekend, I was anxious to hit the pavement and press forward. On Monday, I laced up my Mizunos and headed out to re-try Sunday’s run. I am happy to report that it was an astounding success. My breathing was controlled, my legs felt less strain and I was able to run better than ever. On Wednesday night, I set out for the next run which consisted of two intervals of 10 minutes, separated by a 3 minute walk in between. The first 10 minutes went great and truthfully, I probably could have gone a little longer. I geared up for the second interval, a little nervous that I’d end up having so stop as I had with Erin. However, as I passed our stopping point, I smiled because my body felt great. I knew that I would be able to meet my goal.
At some point during minute 8, the music stopped and the phone rang. I ended up spending 10 minutes on the call but I kept walking for the duration. When I was able to hang up, I decided that finishing the two minutes I had left was pointless. I had two options… just head home or repeat the ten minute run altogether. I chose the later, completing a total run time of 28 minutes over the course of my workout. And I felt great.
Given I had gone further and longer than I had before, I knew that having a rest day on Thursday was crucial. But it was honestly hard to resist the urge to go out for another run. I just might be getting addicted to this whole running thing. Yay! I did end up skipping the day, making the intelligent choice instead of the impulsive one. Instead, I scheduled my run for this morning (Friday) only to find it raining during the only hour I had available. Booooo! I knew I couldn’t skip a day entirely so I hoped on the elliptical and did a vigorous 20 minutes in pace of my run. Tomorrow, I will have an opportunity to hit the pavement again and I find myself counting down the hours.
Yay for running!
I am sad to report that this weekend included two rather pathetic runs.
Friday morning, I scheduled a run with Erin. Until Friday, every run has been solo. Since I am halfway through the program, I felt comfortable enough to share the run with someone else for the first time. However, poor planning on my part led to some trying results. We decided to repeat my workout from a previous run – 10 minutes run, 3 minutes walk, 10 minutes run with a warm-up and cool-down. Because we were running together, I didn’t bring my earbuds so I relied on watching the clock to time the run. We completed the first 10 minute run and I already felt like crap. My breathing was horrible (something I haven’t struggled with since the very early days) and I was incredibly thirsty. We decided to walk a bit longer than the originally planned 3 minutes so I could recoup a little more. We began the second round of running and right off the bat, I felt horrible. I lasted about 5 minutes before having to walk again. I knew that if I pushed any further, I’d have passed out or injured myself. We walked for a while before I was able to pick back up running. I think we did about 3 minutes which would have brought our total time somewhere around 18 minutes of running — 2 minutes less than I ran the previous run with longer consecutive stretches. I felt like I had taken two large steps backward in the program.
I tried to think of what the problem was. And the truth is, there were several problems. First, it was 9am. On week days, I run at night and while on the weekends, I’ve completed a few runs during the day, they have never been as early as 9am. Usually, by the time I head out for a run, I have had a meal or two, and about a gallon of water. I didn’t realize I had skipped breakfast until we were walking back to my house on our cool-down. Couple that with the fact that I had only about a glass and a half of water, my body did not have the resources it needed to take on a run. For the rest of the day and most of the following day, no matter how much water I drank, I still felt dehydrated. My throat also felt a bit swollen so I do wonder if I had a little bug. Thankfully, it has not developed into something more.
In looking back at the run, I also noted that we ran further in that first ten minute stretch- probably about a quarter mile further, which means we were running a bit faster than my average pace. Erin was ready and willing to slow to my pace for the run and I didn’t feel any pressure to go faster, at all. I have made it a point to work on time vs distance/speed for now. I fear injury or fatigue will deteriorate at my motivation to continue so I have gone really slow. While I didn’t feel that I was going faster, the evidence proves contrary. I tend to use my music to help me set a good pace. Without my music, I’m sure that my measure for pace was thrown off.
With so many elements of my run changed — no music, different scenery (the world looks different at 9am!), less hydration, less food fuel, etc, it is no wonder the run wasn’t as successful as I’d hoped. The following day (Saturday) was busy celebrating my son’s sixth birthday so it made for a good “rest day” from running. Sunday early-afternoon, I felt ready to take another stab at running.
Sunday’s run started out much better. My breathing wasn’t labored and I didn’t feel nearly as dehydrated. This run was set up in three stretches of runs – 5 minutes, 8 minutes, 5 minutes. The first one went great. I felt my stride return and while I felt my legs tighten, it was smooth. The next run was tough about halfway through and as the eighth minute completed, my legs were giving me serious trouble. When I began the walking portion, my right shin and left calf were very tight and in a lot of pain. Typically, if I’m feeling a bit of pain, I can walk it off quickly, loosening it in plenty of time before the next run interval. However, after three blocks, my legs were still in seriously pain. I was almost hobbling. I had already given up on the possibility of taking on the last interval of running but now had to consider if my legs would carry me on the mile walk home. I pulled out my iPhone and called for a ride home…. but nobody answered. I tried several times to no avail. I stretched a bit and then proceeded to walk home. About halfway home, my legs had finally loosened and I felt nearly back to normal. My dad finally returned my call and offered to come get me but I realized that walking home was better. The worst thing I could have done at that point was to stop moving forward. The walk was doing wonders are loosening and repairing the strain on my legs.
Not long after my run, I had to volunteer at Jack’s school. I was nervous that my legs would be hurting but the pain never returned. In fact, I felt absolutely fine. I have my giant Brita pitcher full of water, making sure I hydrate for my next run. I am unsure if I will run tonight. While I definitely have the desire to, I will let my body tell me if a day and a half was enough rest time between runs. At the very minimum, I will take a brisk walk, loosening my muscles and preparing for the rest of the week.
I come away from this weekend knowing more about my body and about the trials of working out. I have been told that much of training will be two steps forward, one step back. Until this weekend, I had not felt many steps back since I started so perhaps this weekend’s two steps back was making up for lost time. Or at least that is how I will justify it as I continue to push forward. I will be anxious to take the next step FORWARD!
Most of my runs are at night. I tend to prefer it that way, actually. Since I’m just starting out, I like the peaceful darkness of the evening. It’s just me, the sidewalks and my iPhone. Nobody is around to see me as I struggle in the last few moments of an interval and when a good song hits my iPhone, the chances of getting caught doing a little run-dance are extremely slim.
Running during the day on the weekends is a treat but an altogether different experience for me. For now, it is a blend of pros and cons. In the light of day, I can utilize the path around the pond in our neighborhood. However, I do feel more self-conscious with people around. But as I get further into this program, the stretches of runs are longer and I am finally picking up my stride. As I become more confident, I know that I will enjoy running during the day more and more.
Early Sunday afternoon, I set out for Week 5, Run 2. Two days before, I had such a rush knowing that I completed the series of 5 minute run intervals and was looking forward to a repeat performance. I hit the pavement and took to the pond path for my run. Several minutes into the first run interval, I could really feel the strain. I knew I had to be close to the interval so I checked the countdown clock on my app — 2 minutes left! I couldn’t believe that I had only run three minutes. It felt like at least four minutes and I was starting to drag. I immediately chided myself for over-indulging the night before. How could I have regressed back to feeling like three minutes was a long stretch? Exactly how much wine did I drink last night?
Two minutes later, I finished the run and began the walk interval. A minute or two after walking, the app told me I was “halfway” through today’s workout. That didn’t make any sense to me. The previous run consisted of three 5 minute runs and the halfway mark came in the middle of the second run. I pulled out the phone and looked at the app and it all made sense. In previous weeks, the three runs for each week were identical. This changed in week 5. This week, the runs vary, gaining more distance and run intervals. When I checked my phone thinking it was closing in on 5 minutes, I was actually in my 6th minute heading to a total run interval of 8 minutes. This run was only two intervals of 8 minutes, instead of three intervals of 5 minutes!
Despite being more mentally prepared for the second run of the workout, I did struggle a little. I got through it and felt great afterward but I must admit I feel the program pushing me more than it has in prior weeks. But I accept the challenge. I have yet to fall short of the workout laid in front of me. I listen to my body and when I need to, I repeat a run in the series until I have more confidences to press on. But I never stop. I keep pushing forward and I walk away from each run feeling proud of what I accomplished and looking forward to the next run.
My “Couch to 5K” program will likely end about the first of May. Just days later, I embark on a trip to Mexico followed by a trip to Austin in quick succession. While both trips are with seasoned runners who promise to train with me, I cannot guarantee that I will be ready to run a 5K the weekend following my trips. I cruised all of the races in late May and early June until I came upon one that was a reasonable distance from my house (ie, not a two hour drive away). The date was June 11th — my 30th birthday. At first, I shrugged it off but it stuck with me. It seemed like fate. There was something poetic about it that tugged at me. After discussing it with Erin, I decided to sleep on it. This morning, I woke up knowing that it was the right race. I couldn’t give myself a better present on my birthday than beginning my 30s healthy and happy. And what a better way to do symbolize that than with a 5k run.
The run is called “Run for the Stars 5K” and takes place in Wheaton, IL – an area that is moderately familiar to me. Erin signed up as well, which gives me a boost of confidence. I can’t think of a better person to share this experience with than one of my very best friends. Signing up and putting my name on their registration was truly a motivator to keep going.
So here I am, about to complete my third full week of running. I have been ahead of the program from the beginning, running an average of four times a week instead of the outlined three. I find that if more than a day passes between runs, it sets me back. So I try to keep it to one rest day in between. I also have become more mindful of the weather and take opportunities to run when the conditions are right – even if that means two days in a row. I just fear that if I don’t go now, things will come up a couple days in a row, and I will be screwed. Being a single mom means taking the time when it presents itself. However, I never push myself too far. I would have loved to go out running yesterday afternoon. After the storm, the temp was in the 60s and I had plenty of free time. But having run two days straight, I knew a third day without resting my body would have proved disastrous.
I also took the time to repeat “week three” in the program even though I’ve completed those runs. ‘Week four’ takes a leap that I knew I wasn’t ready for yet and I don’t want to push myself beyond my limitations. If I get injured or find myself unable to keep up, I know that I will feel defeated and be less likely to complete my goal. Tonight, I have the option of doing another re-run or moving on to “week four.” I will let my body tell me what to do after a long day at work. If it craves the release of more energy, then I will step it up. If not, then I will stick with what I know I can handle. However, my deadline to move up to “week four” is Wednesday. Eeek!
Aside from working the program and watching as my runs become longer stretches, I have been watching the changes in my body. I am not someone who cares that much about my weight in numbers as much in how I wear the weight. One hundred and twenty pounds can look perfect on a petite framed girl but could look sickly on a taller, broader built woman. It is not the number that counts – its the way I look and feel. However, when trying to trim down, weight (in numbers) can be one of the only quantifiable measurements. So for now, I find myself looking to that number. For the first few weeks, I did not see a change in either the number or my body shape. But in the last few days, that seemed to change. My weight dipped a little over the weekend and I find my clothes fitting a little different. During my massage on Saturday, my massage therapist took notice of the muscle I am building in my legs. After a few weeks of feeling like I was going nowhere fast, I finally feel like I’ve made a bit of progress! Yay!
Feeling like I’m making progress, I finally broke down and bought new running shoes. The shoes I’d been using were decent but I knew I needed something a bit better quality. After feeling that my commitment has remained on track (no pun intended) so far, I felt the investment was worth my while. I had someone assess the way I walk/run and he suggested Mizuno’s Wave Inspire. I have only logged one run in these shoes but I’m hopeful that they will make a difference as I continue my reach for 5K!
Years ago, before my son was born, I had dreamed of doing a 5k. Jack’s father and my then-boyfriend, was a runner and I always enjoyed attending the local races with him. I tried my hand at running so I could join him as a participant instead of a spectator but it never panned out. Each time I set out to train, I quickly lost motivation. I tried starting out small but I just didn’t feel that I had a program that worked for me.
A couple years ago, I read an interesting article about a “couch to 5k” program that has been pretty successful for a lot of people. The article outlined a program that I had never though of — systematically alternating walking and running based on time. 60 seconds of running, 90 seconds of walking, repeat. The next week, you reduce the walk time and increase the run time. And so it goes for eight weeks until you are running the entire 5k without stopping. I thought to myself, “I can do this.” Trouble is, I never felt motivated enough to start it. Until now.
It’s time. I can feel it. I’m ready. And I’m seizing the opportunity to start running. I have no false hopes of being able to win races. I just want to be able to actually participate in a race. And, ya know, to finish. It will be my 30th birthday present to myself — running a 5k.
Of course, being the geek that I am, I found an app for my iPhone. I run three apps during my runs. 1) My iPod. 2) RunKeeper to track my distance, speed, etc. 3) Couch to 5K – an app that tells me when to run, when to walk, and when to cool down, etc. So far, it hasn’t been too hard. In fact, it pushes me but not to discomfort. This week, the program changes – increasing my running time and shortening my walk time. I will be curious to see how I do.
I didn’t sign up for a 5k yet for two reasons — First, I want to be sure this was something that works for me. So far, so good. Second, I have a couple big trips coming up and I need to figure out when is the exact right time to progress from running for fitness to running in an actual 5k. My goal is to find a race and sign up for it by the end of next week.
I need all the support I can get. In fact, I’ve posted to my friends on facebook that I need all the encouragement they can possibly offer. I figured that if I told the world about my goal, I am more likely to follow through. So as with all my friends and relatives, I ask you, my readers, to wish me luck!
The Alamo in San Antonio, Texas
At the end of January, I boarded a flight to Austin, Texas for a long overdue visit with my dear friend, Jeff. In my four nights, three days away from the cold, wintery Chicago weather, I learned a few things… about myself, about my friend, and about good ol’ Texas.
- When aiming to meet up with other out-of-towners, be sure to select a location before hand. If you catch them after too many drinks, they will mistake the “Wild Turkey” sponsored bar mats as the bar name. You will spend hours trying to figure out where they are at. “What do you mean? I can’t find a listing for Wild Turkey!”
- Jeff’s friend Scott loves to buy rounds of shots. Lots and lots of shots. And my 29 (at least for a few more months) year old body doesn’t have the same tolerance it once had.
- There is live music at nearly every bar in downtown Austin. And I love it!
- Jeff lives a terrifying 30 minute drive from the bar scene. Those damn shots, again!
- 3am does exist. I just have slept through it for the last several years.
- Breakfast tacos are flipping amazing.
- Jeff has an adorable, mild-mannered dog that fueled my desire to have one of my own.
- Johnson City is the hometown of LBJ.
- There are vineyards in the hill country of Texas. Seriously!
- When packing a picnic for two along the river, remember to bring utensils, plates and napkins. Oops.
- Real Ale has a great brewery tour, complete with tastings. This feeds into my other recent revelation that I do, in fact, like beer. Just not the cheap, shitty stuff.
- Even though it is warmer than Chicago, sixty is too cold to go out at night without a jacket. Especially when a lot of the bars/restaurants are outdoors seating.
- Asian-texmex fusion food is amazing!
- Ester’s Follies is SNL meets Glee meets a magic show. And it is absolutely a riot! Even if I am getting picked on in the crowd!
- Sometimes an early night after a long night is heavenly.
- Jeff makes a fantastic waffle breakfast. Complete with fresh cut fruit! Yay! Happy tummy!
- The San Antonio Riverwalk is amazing. It is very beautiful, very modern with hints of vintage, and I can see how the nightlife would be pretty great there.
- Remember the Alamo!
- The Friendly Spot feels like you are having a couple beers in someone’s backyard. And I like it.
- Lockart is the BBQ capital of Texas. And for a town that you can blink and miss, they have several well-known BBQ restaurants.
- Jeff thinks I waste food.
- Sometimes its nice to get back to the house to relax before heading out for another night of boozing.
- Sometimes its better to have a few drinks at home first.
- Sometimes the cosmopolitans are a little stronger than you think.
- My phone is always where I left it. Right in front of my face.
- No matter what city I go to, I can always find a gay to hang out with.
- If ever I should forget, Jeff is fully aware that I keep my lens cap in my back pocket.
- Charging batteries is necessary after taking photos for several days straight. Oops!
- Quick, quick, slow, slow. Two-stepping does get a little tricky after a few too many drinks. But it’s still fun!
- They let the chicks who ride topless go a little longer on the mechanical bull. Note: I know this from watching, not participating.
- Not everyone is great at articulating their feelings. They are called men.
- Next time, I should ask more pointed questions.
- No matter where I am at, I know that I have solid friends that I can count on for good advise. Even by way of text.
- Sometimes, in the light of day, things become clearer and friends become closer than ever.
- A good walk and a great talk can set the tone for a fantastic day.
- You can’t trip in Texas without landing on a lone star.
- When 30 people gather in a circle in the middle of the Capitol Building and hum, it’s really freaking loud. And annoying.
- There is a fantastic docent that works at the Capitol Building in Austin. He is a bit odd but incredibly enthusiastic and knowledgeable.
- Texas only has a congressional session every other year.
- The University of Texas campus has a turtle pond… complete with a turtle who’s shell has been graffitied in bright white and neon pink.
- Austin’s “street food” includes cupcakes. Yummy, delicious, fantastic cupcakes!
- There is a place that exists that offers free skeeball. Unlike the $40 I could drop anywhere else on this game.
- Jeff sucks at skeeball — but I ROCK!
- Some company, some where makes a huge 3 foot tall Connect Four game. I must find it!
- When going to the roller derby, check the tickets to verify which venue it is at. Oops.
- Go to the roller derby early, seats are limited and the concrete floors are murder on your feet and back. It is also hard to see in the standing-room-only areas since the track is high on the sides.
- Packing to go home sucks but is made better by good company.
- Even though you want to stay up talking and getting the most out of your last night on vacation, 5am comes pretty damn early.
- Texas has earned a warm place in my heart.
- Saying goodbye is sad.
Twenty years and counting...
Miss Molly!
On January 31st, the day I arrived home from Austin and the day before Blizzard of 2011 hit, I adopted my first puppy.
For years, I could honestly claim I had no desire to have a dog. However, in the last six months, I felt it became “the right time.” The change in my desire was sudden and I actually have thought about why this must be. I considered the possibilities — Have I given up waiting for a husband, house and second child before getting a family pet? Is it “just the right time” now that Jack needs more direction and less physical assistance? Or is it that Jack is the same age as I was when my parents brought home our first puppy? When I truly think about it, I believe that it is all of the above.
I left Jack at home when I went to the local pet shop. My fear was that he’d pick out some over-rambunctious puppy that would grow into a beastly large dog in short time. Being a single mom, I knew I needed a smaller dog (but not too small!) that fit our personalities. When I arrived at the shop with my mother, we walked up and down the aisle watching the puppies jump and wrestle with excitement. It was dinnertime and they were beyond anxious for their grub. One small puppy stood calmly waiting. She was white with black spots and the sign called her a Lhasapoo (Lhasa Apsa and Poodle mix) We noted that her paws were a little red, likely from the crate’s metal grid below her. A few moments later, we watched as she hopped into the plastic bowel inside her crate and just stood there quietly looking around. She clearly preferred solid footing on the plastic. She clearly was a clever little dog. We took her out to play for a bit. At first, she cowered in the corner, but she soon let me pick her up. She snuggled to me right away and then I knew. This was my dog. She was a lot like Jack – patient and loving. I started the paperwork immediately and brought her home within the hour.
Before arriving home, I gave her a name. If I’d left it to my son, we surely would have had a female dog named General Grievous or Anakin Skywalker. I batted around a few ideas. One of the first I blurted out was Molly and after several rounds of name suggestions between me and my mom, I just couldn’t imagine her named anything other than Molly. And so it stuck.
A boy and his dog.
She was so calm that I feared she wouldn’t be much of a playful dog. I also wondered how Jack would react to her and she to him. Jack has always been a bit indifferent to dogs. He likes them and would occasionally chime in that he wanted one, but he never really “played” with any of the dogs we met. When I arrived home, I put Molly on the couch and summoned Jack over. The moment those two laid eyes on each other, they both lit up! Molly came to life as a frisky puppy ready to play and Jack instantly fell in love with having his very own puppy. He later admitted his slight disappointment that it was a girl dog and not a boy dog. However, that did not change the fact that he was over the moon for his new puppy. Ever since, he has played with her more than his legos (which is a lot!) and made sure he gave her hugs and snuggles before leaving each morning for school and going to bed at night. He begs me to let her sleep in his room but I must remind him that she is still potty training. I have promised him, though, that when she is older and he does a better job picking up his legos, that there might come a day when we can try it out.
Having Molly around has changed the atmosphere of our home. I cannot believe that I have been without a dog for the last decade. She is so warm, so loving and so fun. She weighed just about 7 lbs when I brought her home but has gained at least another pound since. The vet expects her to reach 14 or so pounds at full weight. She has already had her first grooming appointment and has made the rounds to see Uncle Packy & family, David, Pontip and the Lerners. I simply cannot wait to show her off to everyone else.
Aside from a few bitter cold evenings, I have enjoyed walking her outside before bed. It helps get me out of the house for a little walk and I have even taken her along on a couple short runs. She’s doing well with potty training but has had a couple accidents. Overall, it has gone pretty well and her progress is steady — which is all that I could ever ask for, especially these first few weeks. Had we not had a blizzard leaving 5 feet of snow surrounding our house, we might have been completely done by now but given her rocky start, she’s far exceeding my expectations.
She has learned to fetch and follows me around with such enthusiasm that I can’t help but smile every time I look at her. Again, I cannot believe I spent the last decade without a dog. They make life just a little bit brighter. I look forward to spring when she can get out a little more, joining me at Jack’s baseball games, going for long walks and joining the Lerners at the dog parks/beaches. I feel as though Jack and I are a little more complete with Molly in the family now.
Office with a view!
Space is particularly tight at the office. Truth be told, it has been tight for a while. I can’t think of a time in the nearly five years we’ve occupied this space that we weren’t scrambling to find space for new employees. Even as we added cubes, replaced cubes, knocked down walls, and improvised with alternative seating, we still keep running into our limitations. I shouldn’t complain about a growing company but as the office manager, I’m continually asked to “think outside the box” in terms of seating. And let me tell you that I have been out of ideas for a while.
This week, I replaced some particularly shabby chairs. When it came time to take out the garbage, I grabbed Holly for some Office Space style fun as we launched the chairs down the dock steps to the dumpster. We hoisted the first of the chairs up over the side only for it to get stuck. We took a step back and had a giggle at the site. In fact, it was too comical to rectify. So until the garbage man comes to take it away, I can claim I have truly gone “outside the box” for more seating solutions!
Dear My Former Dark Companion,
For years, I spent my life in a dark room. I was quite scared and cold, which is probably why the warmth of your presence next to me was so inviting. I grasped your arm tightly, vowing to never let go. No matter how awful things were in the blackness, I couldn’t imagine releasing my grip on your arm. I would maintained my clutch as I used my free hand to reach forward, fumbling to find a way out of the darkness. Foolishly, I thought we could get out together. I ignored the significance of my thrashing to seek light while you refused to budge. I let you hold me back because I was unwilling to let you go. And then one day, as I feverishly tried to pull you forward in search of help, you shook off my grip. In a sudden burst of momentum, I came crashing forward — right onto a light switch! Without thinking, I thrust the switch up and watched as the room exploded in light. I looked to where you had been standing, only to find you were gone.
You shouldn’t be surprised that the first few days filled me with anger. This is not that unlike the other times before when I tried to move forward. Though, I must tell you that this time was different. With the flipping of the switch, I not only turned ON the light but I also turned OFF the connection I felt to you. Instead of the sorrow and longing that usually accompanied my anger, this time I felt nothing. My love for you evaporated as the light flooded in.
I have lived quietly in the warm light for several months now. I am comfortable here. While you do sometimes cross my mind, I find it’s infrequency very interesting. I can go weeks without caressing an old memory. I no longer feel the heaviness in my heart when I can’t share a moment with you. I no longer feel that connection that I felt so lost without before. It is as though you evaporated.
Unfortunately, while it has been very easy to let you go this time, I cannot deny the lasting impressions you have had on my life. This week was very enlightening for me. You see, my Mexico trip is coming up in a couple months and I have been busy making arrangements. Something came up along the way in which I was unsure if my guest was going to be able to join me as planned. It hit a nerve with me. Suddenly, I was reeling with anxiety. I couldn’t control it and it was overpowering my day. I was so nervous that a trip I’ve been looking forward to for six years was going to fall through – or at least not go as I’d imagined. And the worst part is that this was conflicting heavily with what I wanted for my friend. Bundle it all together and it made for a very large lump in my stomach. Even as I’m reassured that the trip is progressing forward as planned, I am fighting such a huge bout of anxiety on a daily basis.
At first, I couldn’t figure out where my panic was coming from. I thought back to my last couple of trips – Florida with my family and Texas to see a life-long friend. Each time, the weeks leading to the trip were filled with an unfounded anxiety. And I suspect that my nerves leading up to Thailand were not normal international travel nerves, but that same unexplained anxiety.
Then it hit me. You did this to me. You scarred travel for me. It was your inability to follow through with our travel plans, breaking my heart in the process. The pure joy I felt when we booked those tickets was ruined by the events that followed. And if that wasn’t bad enough, it has left a permanent black mark on my heart. To this day, and despite all the evidence contrary, I cannot trust even my closest friends and relatives to live up to their promises.
Further exploration of this concept also led me to discover the scar was not limited to travel. I spent several years of my life worried that you were going to cancel plans. It was not unfounded worry since you were known to do. I could never count on you to be there, no matter how important it was to me. You lied, cheated and stole bits of my life that I will never get back. And I will spend the rest of my life trying to recover from them. But now that you are no longer in my life, I expected that anxiety to go away. The reality is, however, that those tears in my heart are preventing me from having the due faith in the wonderfully loving friends that have shown me nothing other than loyalty.
They say that knowing is half the battle and with this new discovery, I hope to relieve some of the anxiety. I may not be successful and/or the progress may be slow but I am hoping the knowledge of it’s existence will help me manage for now. Additionally, I have advised friends of this problem so that if/when I get anxious out about something small, they can understand a bit more of where I’m coming from.
I am certain that this is just the first of many other moments of enlightenment to come. I would be foolish to assume that a story as deep and tormented as ours, hasn’t left other dark marks upon me. I cannot forget all that happened between us, though with time the details become more blurred. I do know that there were good times mixed in with the bad. I just think I was in denial as to how bad the bad times truly were until now. Having said that, I do not hate you. Actually, I do not feel anything for you. Not love, not hate. Just numbness. I did not realize all those years that if I truly let go that it would also let go of the pain as well. And because I am free of both the pain and the connection, I can honestly say that I forgive you.
I wish you the best,
Pools of Light and Self Discovery
Patti Kurtz 